November 16, 2009...

Hi family,

This is my life as of last week.

I have learned more about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I stress myself out so much it hurts, I try to do everything on my own, I try to be perfect when I cannot be perfect, and I set myself at a higher standard than my companion does, my mission president does, and even the Lord does.

This past Satuday, November 14th, was Darla's baptism. As a new missionary, I wasn't as prepared as I wanted to be for the baptism. I stressed myself out to the point where I was constantly worrying about everything, hoping that the people who were supposed to show would, and that I would say the right things, and that no one would be mad with me for causing such chaos for them. I worried again and again over these things and many more things. I worried about how the ward mission leader viewed me as a missionary, I worried about all those we are working with, I worried about the members and praying they wouldn't get mad at me...

You can tell there is a pattern in all of this: WORRY

I stress, I feel anxious, nervous, and scared.

My companion continued to point out one thing: I stress about the things I do and the people I see every day because I'm not confident with who I am. This might sound harsh to some, but to me, it was eye-opening, and I felt truly grateful for the words Elder Harrison spoke to me. He continued to say that no one on earth is perfect, and we, as imperfect beings, cannot become perfect in this life. That is where the Atonement comes in. He is our SAVIOR. He helps us become perfect. Through Adam, all men die, and through Christ, all men live. We have been given the great gift of the Atonement. We should apply it to our lives continuously throughout our lives. For those who like to cook, it is a lot like using knives. You all have that one knife you use all the time. It is perfect for cutting anything and is used every time you are in the kitchen. The kitchen is comparable to life and the knife is the Atonement. The Atonement should not be some knife that we use only when we are eating pancakes, or just when we are slicing a tomato. It should be applied all the time. We are not perfect. We need the Atonement at all times.

All right, I'll get off my soap box and give "all ya'll" an update. HAHA

We have another baptism this coming Saturday. Her name is Megan S.  She is 19 and has been investigating the church for a couple of months now. She experienced a lot of family opposition, but she is strong and she knows the gospel is true, the Book of Mormon is true, and Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God. She is being fellowshipped by the Single's Branch so well and she loves the love the members give off. It will be at 11:30AM and her boyfriend is baptizing her. I'm really excited for her to receive the blessings that come from being baptized in the church.

The next people we are teaching are Emily and Josh. Josh was baptized into the church, and he lived in Utah for some of his life. Emily, his fiance, is not a member and she is loving the message that God has sent us to share with the people in the OTM. They will be coming to church next week so keep your fingers crossed for them.

We are also still teaching Chris and Ashleigh G. Ashleigh was raised in the church, but now she is coming back and she wants her husband, Chris, to be apart of it. It's been pretty difficult to get in contact with them this past week or so, but I have faith and hope for them. Chris did have a baptismal date the 28th of November, but I'm not sure how that will work out now...please keep praying.

There are many others, but I would appreciate it if you can pray for Elder Harrison, my companion. He is an awesome missionary. He is very patient with me, and he is teaching me much about the gosple and about life in general. Please pray for him to have the strength to get through these last few weeks on his mission. He has worked so diligently out here in the OTM, so any prayers for him would be most appreciative.

I am grateful for the letters that have been written to me. I love the Spirit that you, my family, bring to my life. You give me much strength out here in the OTM, and I am eternally grateful for your prayers. There has been so much that I have learned from each of you. Every single one of you has taught me something. I have been taught to value the temple, I have been taught to sacrifice my time to read, I have been taught to help others around the house (that comes in handy on a mission), I have been taught to encourage others to act on the things that they want to accomplish, and I have also been taught to LOVE. Thank you, all of you, for teaching me how to love.

I love you, family.
Elder Fellows